


light of my life

by jnobeano



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abuse?, M/M, donghyuck is pretty sad, mark is best boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:21:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22170058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jnobeano/pseuds/jnobeano
Summary: a late night guest climbs in through mark's window as usual, only to change mark's life forever when morning comes.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	light of my life

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first piece of writing here.... please be nice :)
> 
> enjoy!!

Soft humming resonates from the air conditioner above Mark’s head; the artificial zephyr whirls from the ceiling to the ground, resembling a thick fog. As goosebumps rise on the surface of his skin, shivers trickle down his spine, despite him wearing a thick hoodie. 

It’s like any other night. 

As Mark lays in bed, the light squeak of his window alerts him to his usual midnight guest’s arrival, Donghyuck’s honey hair glowing against the empty, lightless sky. With a soft swoosh, he slides the white-framed glass close, locking it with a crisp slick. A familiar tune hums through Mark’s veins like music, from his center to the ends of his fingers and toes. But when Donghyuck turns, his eyes are rimmed with red, dried tears streaking his pale skin. 

Broken. 

He looks completely and utterly broken.

Blinking, Mark lifts his eyes to meet Donghyuck’s, and that’s all it takes for the latter to completely break down again. His expression crumbles, and he falls to the floor with a heavy thud, like his limbs are suddenly a weight he’s too weak to carry. Mark freezes for only a moment, but the second he hears that painfully familiar sob, Mark’s arms are wrapped around his boyfriend’s shoulders in a protective hold. 

“Mark, I-” another violent sob escapes Donghyuck as Mark pulls him into his chest, tears leaving dark patches on his hoodie. 

Mark lets him cry it out because that’s what he needs. Mark’s afraid, terrified; he’s worried because he thought he’d already experienced Donghyuck at his worst. A couple of weeks earlier, he’d arrived at Mark’s window as usual, but tears were sliding down his cheeks and Mark swears he could see Donghyuck’s broken heart.

And yet, he still had light in his eyes. 

Despite everything that Donghyuck had endured: the suffering, the pain; the torture of living in that hell home of his; he had light in his eyes. 

Not tonight.

They’ve always been dark. pools of liquescent black, a stark contrast to his fair skin. Even then, with the darkness of Donghyuck’s eyes, there has always been light. They would glitter like a million stars in the night sky. They would glitter like the moonlight’s reflection as it rippled off of a lake’s surface. They would glitter like all the brightness in the world was captured in his doe eyes. 

They would glitter.

Yet tonight, they remain dark.

…

Donghyuck spends the night in Mark’s room, door locked and curtains drawn, safely tucked away in a cocoon of chunky pillows and blankets on Mark’s bed. Occasionally, a weak sniffle sounds from the protective wrap, another piece of Mark’s heart falling each time. 

“You know what, Mark…” Donghyuck starts, speaking for the first time since he arrived, “I think I’m okay now. I'm okay.”

It feels like someone’s grabbed mark’s heart and squeezed it with all their might. 

“That’s great, Hyuck, but…” He doesn’t know what else to say. Just moments ago Donghyuck was crying so hard that it seemed like he was gonna physically cry his heart out....

And now he’s frighteningly calm and collected. 

“Honestly. I've endured the screams, cries, lashings- all of it. And for far too long.” His body shifts beneath the duvet and Mark can sense his fingers hovering above old scars and new, each strip of puckered and discolored skin undoubtedly a reminder of the torture he’s been forced to live through. “But it’s okay now. It’s over now. I'm okay. at least… I will be.”

Ice shoots through Mark’s veins, and his heart stops. 

“What do you mean?” He keeps his tone hushed; Donghyuck’s fragile state is not one that he’ll risk breaking. 

“I’m fine.” Donghyuck finally settles his vision upon his boyfriend and pulls the corners of his lips into a bright smile. It doesn’t reach his still dark eyes, and unease floods through the boy at the bottom of the bed.

“I’m perfect,” Donghyuck whispers, happiness lacing his thought as his mind ventured into space again. 

“Hyuck.” The smaller boy blinks back to Mark, who has to fight the urge to shiver. He’s different, seemingly happy, but Mark knows better. “Tomorrow, we’ll wake up together, and we’ll conquer the world with your newfound state of… ‘fine’. Okay?” Donghyuck hums in response, making sure to flash a reassuring smile. 

“G'night Mark,” He mumbles, burying himself further into the cocoon. 

“Goodnight Hyuck.” His eyes peek from beneath the blanket and Mark swears there’s a flash of light before they turn dark again. Donghyuck's soft smile falters for a moment as Mark whispers, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he whispers, eyes sparkling with what could be tears, or their normal light. Mark can't tell, but somehow his heart is lifted slightly at the phrase. Donghyuck blinks, and Mark can't see if the light goes out as the honey-haired boy tucks himself into the blankets once more.

Donghyuck doesn’t speak anymore, and neither does Mark. Instead, the latter remains seated at the foot of the bed, watching as the younger’s eyelids grow heavy and his breathing steadies into a gentle rhythm. Mark’s heart sinks as questions run through his head: is Donghyuck really okay? Confusion and relief don’t mix well yet they dance within Mark like fire and ice. 

He crawls into bed beside his boyfriend, then, feeling Donghyuck’s arm drape over his waist, he decides that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

…

The next day, Mark wakes up to the uncomfortable frigidity of his room, goosebumps rippling across his skin. The window is slid open and the sheer curtains that were once drawn are billowing inwards gently. It feels like it’s around eight in the morning, and usually, Donghyuck would be fast asleep.

But the space beside Mark is bare. 

Adrenaline shoots through his veins- 'I shouldn’t have believed him,' he thinks, 'I shouldn’t have trusted him.'

'Because now I might lose him forever.' 

Mark’s breaths come in shallow waves and his heart beats in his ears, blood rushing faster with every passing second. He bolts from the room and through the window, letting his instincts take him to the love of his life.

The pounding of his feet against the pavement below him is no match for the pounding of his heart; dread threatens to rip him apart. Tears spill from Mark's eyes, lost in the wind, as urgency pushes his legs to the limit. 

Eventually, the noiret ends up by the small cliff that oversees the river. Treetops blanket the packed dirt, the lack of light making it hard to see. The morning breeze guides him to the river, the once safe edge seeming like the most dangerous weapon on earth as Donghyuck stands there, his thin sweater rippling in the wind. 

Forcing all the air from his lungs and strength in his muscles, Mark screams, “Donghyuck!” 

The younger boy spins around, eyes rimmed with red, dried tears streaking his pale skin. 

More tears are sliding down Mark's cheeks as he whispers, "Baby, please," -his voice breaks- "don't." 

But a sad smile is plastered to Donghyuck’s face and there’s peace and conviction in his eyes- a replacement for the stars that they used to hold. 

Mark’s breath catches in his throat; the whole world falls silent. The quiet barely allows Mark to breathe as he captures a hushed, “I’m gonna be okay.” 

And then he’s gone.


End file.
